The holidays bring magic, movement, and meaningful moments around the table. They also bring new environments, unfamiliar foods, and plenty of excitement for children.
I was recently featured in Parenting Special Needs Magazine, where I shared gentle, practical ways to help children feel more confident during holiday events. You can read the full piece and watch the video here:
Holiday Manners for Kids with Special Needs: Simple Tips for Confident Gatherings
Below, I’m expanding on those ideas—offering timeless guidance you can use at home, in the classroom, or in your manners lessons.
1. Holiday Buffets and Special Events: Simple Table Manners for Kids
Buffets and festive spreads can feel overwhelming for children. A little preparation goes a long way in helping them feel calm and in control.
Share a few simple reminders before you arrive:
- Walk slowly and wait your turn in line.
- Take small portions first—you can always go back for more.
- Hold your plate with both hands to avoid spills.
- Keep a napkin nearby for quick, calm cleanups.
These small habits create ease and confidence, especially in busy rooms filled with people, sound, and movement.
2. Slow the Pace: Helping Kids Enjoy Their Food
Holiday meals are not a race. Many children benefit from a gentle reminder to slow down, take a breath, and truly enjoy their food.
You might say:
- “Pause and enjoy what’s on your fork.”
- “We have plenty of time—let’s all take it slowly.”
- “Savor each bite and notice the flavors.”
These phrases help create a calmer pace at the table and support children who may feel overstimulated or rushed.
3. What to Do When You Have Food in Your Mouth
It happens often: a child takes a bite and someone immediately asks a question. This can create pressure to talk with a full mouth.
Teach a simple, elegant response:
- Pause and stop chewing quickly.
- Make eye contact and smile with their eyes.
- Raise one finger slightly as a polite signal, “One moment, please.”
- Finish chewing, swallow, then respond to the question.
This small script gives children permission to slow down and respond with ease, instead of rushing or feeling embarrassed.
4. Holiday Conversation Skills for Kids
Holiday gatherings are a beautiful opportunity to practice conversation skills. Children love having a simple “how to” for talking with relatives and guests.
Offer these gentle guidelines:
- Look at the person who is speaking to you.
- Listen with your whole face—eyes, expression, and body turned toward them.
- Ask open-ended questions like, “What was your favorite part of the day?”
- Add a short comment or follow-up question to keep the conversation going.
These soft skills help children feel more included, capable, and connected during the holidays—and beyond.
A Season of Grace, Warmth, and Connection
Holiday manners are not about perfection. They are about confidence, presence, and creating ease for the children we love.
If you’d like more holiday ideas and tips, you can explore my feature in Parenting Special Needs Magazine here:
Holiday Manners for Kids with Special Needs: Simple Tips for Confident Gatherings
May this season bring kindness, calm moments, and beautiful gatherings for you and the children in your life.
Holiday Manners for Kids: FAQ
How do I teach my child table manners for holiday gatherings?
Start with a few simple, repeatable skills: walking slowly at the buffet, taking small portions, using a napkin, and staying seated while eating. Practice at home before the event so your child feels secure and knows what to expect.
How can I help my child slow down when eating during the holidays?
Set a relaxed tone. Invite everyone at the table to slow down, breathe, and enjoy their food. Use gentle prompts like “We’re not in a hurry” or “Let’s take our time and savor each bite,” and model the pace you’d like to see.
What should my child do if someone asks a question while they have food in their mouth?
Teach your child a simple script: pause, make eye contact, smile, and raise one finger as a signal to wait. Then have them finish chewing, swallow, and respond. This keeps the interaction polite and comfortable for both sides.
How can I support a child with special needs at holiday meals?
Prepare ahead of time by talking about what the event will look like, who will be there, and what the food and surroundings might be like. Offer clear, simple expectations, and give your child breaks if the environment becomes overstimulating. Most of all, focus on comfort, connection, and small, achievable steps.
4. How can I support kids with special needs at holiday gatherings?
Prepare them ahead of time with visuals or simple expectations, keep routines consistent when possible, offer breaks, and focus on comfort over perfection.
Lisa Richey provides etiquette programs to businesses, schools, and individuals.
